By Sharon Enck

As with any addiction, admitting that you have a problem is the first step…so before your family and friends stage a hockey intervention, does any of this sound familiar?

– The hockey game on TV qualifies as a “date”

– You spend most of said game wishing your date would shut up and keep his hands to himself

– There’s an Arizona Coyotes (or other NHL team) bobblehead on your desk..and you talk to it

– Your kid does the goalie stretch in the dirt at t-ball because she thinks that’s what doing “warm ups” means

– The team sent you a holiday card in a HAND addressed envelope

– There is a “proper” way to bang the glass and you’ve shown others how to do it

– You chant and cheer in your living room…alone

– You are seriously considering naming your next child, boy or girl, Radim, Crosby or Tuukka (wouldn’t a goalie daughter make a beautiful Tuukka?)

– You’ve determined that one team isn’t enough and you start watching any game on (does that make the Coyotes a gateway drug?)

– You are THOROUGHLY convinced that your team didn’t win because you wore the wrong shirt or because you weren’t at the game

– Family vacations are planned around which arenas you haven’t seen a game in…YET

– You talk about players as though they were part of your family

– The ushers at the arena treat you as a part of the family

– 1/3 of your wardrobe has a howling Coyote or Shark or Penguin etc. on it, seek extra help if your underwear does. Not that I know anything about that..AHEM

Other symptoms may include night sweats, headaches and feelings of anxiety when you haven’t seen a live game in two weeks.

Users may also experience great bouts of euphoria on a winning streak and depression over a shootout loss.

Don’t discontinue use, just get two tickets and call me in morning.



Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.